Deserate People Do Desperate Things!

The title pretty much tells it all. For the past few months, I have fallen into a very desperate state. No job and no positive outlook for the future. I, at 59 years old never in my wildest dreams would have thought this could happen to us.

Always being a hard worker since I was 12 years old cleaning office buildings, I had the ideas of a bright future. This, after all these years has not come to be. Never did I think that devoting my later years to a business that was not mine, did I think I would be kicked to the curb.

My latest struggle leaves me no good outlook. For the past few months I've been working an average of 14 hours a day, 7 days a week on online. I have written over 100 articles and the same amount of ads, with some income, but still not enough.

I've built over 6 web sites from scratch, more than 40 blogs, and done more research on all kinds of stuff. Has any of this helped? It hasn't helped me. All that happens is I work more and get nothing in return. Sure is a cruel life.

I'm beginning to reach the breaking point. How can I be blamed. I just don't get it! I see people every day that do almost nothing and have everything handed to them. Not me.

I really feel like I'm now involved in a loosing battle, with not much to look forward to in this cruel and vicious life. I have never, ever tried to screw anyone at anytime in my life, and I don't think I deserve this crap.

I have done nothing but try to help anyone and everyone, and never ask for anything in return. I try and try to help myself, with no improvement. I don't feel sorry for myself, I'm just very depressed and see only one outcome to this life.

I think all the time," what the hell did I do", does God really hate me this much. Or did I do something in another life that I'm still paying for? I only know that for me this life totally sucks. My body and mind are burned out.

I told my wife that when my time comes to be sure to tell the undertaker to leave the smile on my face, and put me in the casket face down, so all the people that have made my life miserable can kiss my butt.

I still wish everyone good luck, and try to stay away from all the thieves that try to steal your money, and give you false hopes. I've spent way too much time on this earth, and hope it doesn't last too much longer.